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A Lonely Grandmother in Texas
At times, I become very lonely. I wish I had an understanding friend, who would listen to me and advise me. I guess I wish I had someone who understands what I'm going through. The friends I thought were "friends", would just say "Send him back", but I would NEVER do that. I've had him since he was 3, he now is getting ready to turn 12. I also worry about his not having a male figure in his life.
Looking for Help in Iowa
Finding any support on the Iowa side in the Quad Cities, there is none. We are told we aren't alone but can't seem to see that. We love our little girl and there are questions we have that we can't seem to find answers for.
Medicaid Helpful in NH
I was very relieved to see they put my
grandson on Medicaid because we can't even afford our deductable
on the health insurance we do have.
Grandparents in Ohio
We are all he has at this time. We are
waiting for his mommy (our daughter) to get it together and get
off of drugs. But we don't know when or if she ever will . Dad
uses also but lives in another state and never calls or acts
like he has a son. We are all he has, and we did not want him to
go into foster care.
Grandparents in California
This has been a big challenge as my
husband and I were looking forward to more time to do our own
projects. We still have our own teenage son at home and he has
had to share the time his parents now scurry around with a
toddler. The legal issue is our biggest concern currently. Our
daughter is drug addict and we walk a fine line in getting our
grandson with us. We are afraid that if we approach guardianship
she will shut down communication and our grandson will suffer as
Struggles with an only daughter
My husband and I are trying to pay off
our mortgage and car payment so that he can retire next year.
Taking care of our two year old grandson was an unexpected event
and can be a real challenge at times with both of us working
full time, however we love our grandson so much and are going to
do the best we can to care and nurture him. Our biggest
challenge is his mother. She is strung out on drugs and in and
out of jail--she only wants to talk to us when she needs bail.
We have done everything we can to help her but we refuse to
continue to enable her. It is such a painful decision and we
struggle daily, she is our only daughter and it is just so
Scared in California
I really could use some support! I'm alone, no close family
to help out. I've spent a ton of money I don't have on legal
bills and I don't "qualify" for any assistance. Right now, I
can't afford to pay for my own health insurance premiums and I
am scared what will happen to him if I get sick.
Frustrated in West
Positive experiences? Nothing, it gets more emotional daily,
if the parents were completely out of the situation it may be
I am 50 years old and was given custody of my grandson when
he was released from the hospital at birth. His mother took
drugs in an effort to terminate her pregnancy yet he was born at
6 months gestation. He is now 2 years old and is a beautiful,
happy go lucky child. I am his mother in every sense of the word
and I would fight to the death if someone ever tried to take him
Loving a baby in
I love having a baby again. I'm just worried her mother will
decide she wants her again and take her away. I would be
devastated. I was considering adopting before my granddaughter
came into my life. I would love to adopt her.
Overwhelmed in Alabama
I love these children dearly, but have no desire to be their
parent. We sometimes feel overwhelmed with all the
responsibilities of children this young. Honestly it is just
time that has helped us adjust.
Safe in Pennsylvania
Having my granddaughter with me, has been a true blessing. I
don't have to worry about her well being. She is safe with me.
Tired in West Virginia
I love these children so much,
but sometimes I get so physically and mentally tired that I
could sit down and cry.
Worried in Oregon
Our little (beautiful) Granddaughter has lived with us since
birth making it a little easier. We worry that some day Mom may
decide to be a real Mom after all and take her from us after 4
years raising her since birth.
Sweetest Little Girl in
My grandchild has brain cancer and cerebral palsy, is blind,
is G-tube fed, and has seizure disorders. She is also the
sweetest girl ever. We've had her since she was 2 weeks old. She
is now 20 months old.
Granddad and 2
I couldn't stop crying while reading these stories. I'm a
single man raising two beautiful granddaughters, 1 and 3. It
really helps to know that others are doing the right thing also.
Losing our Privacy
It is nice to be able to get to know them as people than as
occasional visitors. However, I regret losing our privacy, and I
did not expect the financial impact. But, I would not change a
Raising a Teenager in
We love him very much, but life has not been easy for him. We
are trying to correct some bad issues in his life.
Support in Nevada
My friend, who has her grandchildren has been a wealth of
information, including this site, and our church has been
Networking in New York
Knowing that I am not alone and networking with other
grandparents helps me.
Blessed in Wisconsin
My life is so blessed. My granddaughter is a joy, she is 3
going on 10. She keeps me young, and laughing all the time. I
was given guardianship Nov. 2007 I'm thankful every day that I
was given the chance to give my granddaughter a better live.
Raising infant in
I raise her the best I can and have applied for everything
but have been denied. I live in fear that her mom will come by
and take her. I do not know how I would be able to go on.
Great-Aunt in Iowa
This is my great-nephew, and we've been babysitting him for a
week at a time over the last year about every 3 weeks or so. Now
we have him during EVERY week.
Feeling Isolated in
My biggest issue is social isolation. I don' really fit in
with the child-free friends of my "past," and I definitely don't
fit in with the young families from our church and community.
I have literally lost all my previous social contacts and now
simply manage to get away for awhile by myself to see a movie or
go out to dinner alone when my husband is home to care for her.
I love her dearly but I'm losing myself!
Triplets in Washington
We are raising our triplet grandchildren. We had never kept
all three for the night until they came to live with us. They
are the greatest joy and the most work I have ever experienced.
Humor in Pennsylvania
have found that having a good sense of humor is very important.
Life is short. You must lighten up and don't carry a grudge. My
downfall is trying to remember that I need a Social life also.
Adjusting in Canada
Having been involved in their lives from an early age, my
grandchildren were usually with me anyway. When my son died last
June, they had to make very little adjustment when their
Mother left to go to another province.
Permanence in Virginia
The decision for us to adopt my granddaughter helped because
it gave us stability and a feeling of permanence in our
situation. My granddaughter calls us "Mom" & " Dad" and she
feels more secure in knowing we will always be here and no one
can come in and upset the life she has. She repeatedly tells us,
"I love my life. I love my house."
Staying home in
Michigan is worth it.
Being able to stay home with them has helped. I do not think
I could have done a very good job if I had to work 40 hours and
care for them. Even though we struggle financially it is worth
Stay at home mom in
I gave up my career to be a stay at home mom to take care of
our 3 grandchildren. No one other than those in our situation
will ever understand the undertaking it is to raise your
Still adjusting in
I have had my 7 year old grandson since he was a baby and
this past month got custody of his 2 year old 1/2 sister. I am
still trying to adjust to all this, however, reminding myself
that the joy of watching them grow has helped a lot.
Not the 70's or 80's in
Raising (grand)children today is so much different than in
the 70s & 80s. Our other children help us some but even they say
how difficult it is. Children today have been allowed to get
away with murder without consequences. Two of our sons are
raising adopted children from spouses previous marriages and are
doing good jobs. We all talk a lot about issues. My wife and I
need adult input from our age group.
Teenager in Illinois
I have had my grand since he was 10mo and he is now 13 1/2.
Every stage was hard but I made it. However, the teenage years
are rough. Teenagers are expensive and demand a lot of time.
They are extremely moody and self centered. I pray for guidance
and strength for the next couple of years
Sunshine in Michigan
I am raising my 6 year old
grandson. I guess I am a very young grandma, I am 43 and my
daughter is 23. She had her son when she was 16 so as you can
imagine, she was no where near ready to care for a baby herself.
When he was born we found out that he had a Congenital Heart
Defect called Total Anomalous Venus Pulmonary Connection. Which
means he was born totally without the 2 veins that connect to
the heart that bring oxygenated blood to the heart. He is truly
a miracle. He had open heart surgery at just 12 days old. He is
doing well now, but we are waiting for symptoms to indicate a
low heart rate and then he will need to have a pacemaker. My
daughter, besides being very young, never had a chance to bond
with the baby when he was born so luckily she did the very brave
and mature thing and gave custody to me but she lives in the
same city as we do and is there all the time to help raise him.
My grandson is my whole world. He is my Sunshine and he will
tell you if you ask him. He says, "yeah...I'm my gamme's
sunshine ". you know us GRANDPARENTS, any chance to brag! ;)
Kudos to every grandparent out there! The future does depend on
Support in New Zealand
It helps to have the support from other grandparents that are
also in the same predicament, there is light at the end of the
tunnel. It also helps to know that there is also someone out
there that is worse off than I am. And that my Father in Heaven
has been there for me also. Also, where are these children to
go? I love my grandson very dearly, as I do all my other 9
grandchildren, but it is hard being a grandparent to the others.
I sometimes feel as if I'm
"neither fish nor fowl. I'm not the same age as the other
mothers in our apartment complex and my priorities are different
from women in my age group.
"I find it hard dealing with my
granddaughters attitude. If something goes wrong, she blames me.
I think she takes her frustrations over not being with her
mother on me. She becomes defiant, talks back, states that "You
don't act like you did before I came to live with you" she
thinks her mother is perfect and never finds anything wrong with
what her mom does. Her mother has called her a "lying b----" on
the phone and hung up on her, but this child denies ever hearing
her mom do this. She was removed from her mom's home because her
mother is a meth addict and neglected the children. I feel like
I am doing everything I can for her and she is giving me no
thanks, no respect, I am almost to the point now where I don't
care if she lives with her mom or goes back into the foster care
system. She refuses to see a counselor. I took her three times
and she is angry with me about this and brings it up all the
time. I'd like to know what to do. My life has been disrupted
for 2 years now. I wouldn't care so much if I felt like I was
helping this child, but she just resents me because she can't
live with her mom."
My Grandchild has special needs that her parents refused to
see. But, every day she brings sunshine into my life with
something new she has learned.
in New York
We worry we will be too old or
ill to keep taking care of him for possibly many years to come.
He is only 1.
Tired in California
I am still young but feel much older, I don't have the energy
I used to have. I don't want to shortchange my granddaughter.
Concerned in South Carolina
I fear for my granddaughter she has so many scars and I'm not
sure I can get her where she needs to go. She talks one way but
heads in another and that's the same thing her mother did and
here we are years later and her mother is still going in the
wrong direction. The boys are great they look forward to very
happy lives. They are adjusting very well.
Need Understanding in Arizona
We need to make the government officials understand that we
are in need, not only of financial assistance, no matter what
our pension or retirement is. I have seen too many retiree's
spend all they have on the grandchildren, that they barely have
enough for them selves. We need to have the society as a whole
not look at us/or our situation in a bad light... too many
people have the attitude of "the apple doesn't fall to far from
the tree" This mentality is harmful not only to the children but
also to the grandparents. They have themselves, their children,
and also they have grandchildren to deal with the best they can. We
have to be the strong generation!!!
Faith in God in Georgia
I, truly believe that God is right in the midst of us trying
to do this awesome task. If it were not for Him, I would not be
able to accomplish what we do for our grandchildren. We are
raising 13 of our grandchildren, nieces and nephews!
Isolated in Minnesota
I was home with our 5 kids until the youngest started
preschool, but I never felt the isolation and loneliness that I
do now. Maybe being at home all day doing daycare is a part of
it. When our kids were young, I had friends who also had young
kids. We could swap childcare or just call on each other for
support. I never felt as though I gave up my life for my
children. None of my 50+ yr old friends have babies to care for
24/7, and none of them can even closely relate to me. I'm
relying on my 25 yr daughter, whose baby is only 5 wks older
that the one living with us, as my emotional support but she is
525 miles away! My husband works fulltime and then some (law
enforcement), but he relieves me whenever possible, but he
doesn't feel the same isolation that I do. I'm trying to
rekindle old hobbies I had, and find new interests (ECFE
activities) but I struggle with social relationships now that I
am back in the diaper and bottle saddle.
Grateful in Florida
Sometimes I feel too old to raise an 11 yr old and 15 yr old.
Other times they keep me young. I am so glad I have them in my
life and my home.
A Blessing In Oklahoma
I am changing the way I look at the situation. I now realize
that this is a blessing instead of thinking it is a burden.
Support in Kentucky
Time has helped. I go to Alanon meetings and a grandparents
support organization. Talking to other people and reading about
other grandparents has helped.
Transitioning in New Hampshire
Well, technically I have been with them their entire
lives--my daughter lived with me...so I know the children VERY
well. For the record, I haven't made the mental transition
completely yet from grandparenting role to parenting role...but
knowing that they needed a stabilizing force in their lives
--and that I'm "it" has helped.
Feeling alone in Florida
My husband and closest 4 friends have died in the last five
years. I have many work commitments where I must deal with
people but no one my age has anything in common with my
lifestyle. Aside from a church prayer group, I often feel alone.
One day at a time in Arizona
I have only had my 2 granddaughters for one month. I have a
strong faith in God and I try to take one day at a time.
(Sometimes one minute at a time!) Humor helps and being older
now and raising children, I try to enjoy the "now" with my
girls, as I know how fast they grow up. It is more important for
me to be with them, than cleaning, etc.
Frustrated in Arkansas
I feel I am reworking a 2 & 4 year old puzzle that wasn't put
together right. I am very frustrated with my daughter she is 25
and I expected more of her than this. She wanted to be a
teacher. It's unbelievable!
Feeling Trapped in Connecticut
We can not afford a day care facility. Someone watches the
boys 4 days a week for minimal money which is nice, but her
family environment is not what I want the boys exposed to. I
feel very trapped. The boys are so wonderful, I would so like to
give them a better situation.
Concern in Nevada
We'd really rather see our granddaughter being raised by her
parents but that is not a reality in the near future. Our first
concern is her welfare. We are presently involved in court
Blessed in Florida
When I was 17 I gave a child up for adoption. I did not want
this for our grandbaby. I asked God for the answers and did a
lot of praying that if it is his will to give me another chance
at being a mom, that I would do it. Our grandbaby is 18 months
old and is my husband's daughter's son. I am so thankful and
Wishing in Illinois
I have my oldest grandson in private guardianship and my
youngest one is in state care. I wish that the governor would
equalize the child only grant along with the foster care
payment. It would make things a lot easier, especially since
they are both special needs.
Dealing in Pennsylvania
Due to a tragic situation my grand daughter is in my
custody... I thought I would be unable to deal with day to day
activities. However, my grand daughter's presence forces me to
deal with life
Friends and Family in Tennessee
I didn't know what we
were going to do WITH our little 2 year old, but now at almost
age 5, We don't know what we would do WITHOUT her. We received a
tremendous amount of support from friends and family and
especially our church family
My granddaughter is 18. my husband and I raised her. She has a
daughter (my great granddaughter). My husband and I divorced
recently after 38 years of marriage. My two granddaughters live