Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

 
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Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

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A Lonely Grandmother in Texas

At times, I become very lonely. I wish I had an understanding friend, who would listen to me and advise me. I guess I wish I had someone who understands what I'm going through. The friends I thought were "friends", would just say "Send him back", but I would NEVER do that. I've had him since he was 3, he now is getting ready to turn 12. I also worry about his not having a male figure in his life.

Looking for Help in Iowa

Finding any support on the Iowa side in the Quad Cities, there is none. We are told we aren't alone but can't seem to see that. We love our little girl and there are questions we have that we can't seem to find answers for.

Medicaid Helpful in NH

I was very relieved to see they put my grandson on Medicaid because we can't even afford our deductable on the health insurance we do have.

Grandparents in Ohio

We are all he has at this time. We are waiting for his mommy (our daughter) to get it together and get off of drugs. But we don't know when or if she ever will . Dad uses also but lives in another state and never calls or acts like he has a son. We are all he has, and we did not want him to go into foster care.

Grandparents in California

This has been a big challenge as my husband and I were looking forward to more time to do our own projects. We still have our own teenage son at home and he has had to share the time his parents now scurry around with a toddler. The legal issue is our biggest concern currently. Our daughter is drug addict and we walk a fine line in getting our grandson with us. We are afraid that if we approach guardianship she will shut down communication and our grandson will suffer as a result.

Struggles with an only daughter

My husband and I are trying to pay off our mortgage and car payment so that he can retire next year.  Taking care of our two year old grandson was an unexpected event and can be a real challenge at times with both of us working full time, however we love our grandson so much and are going to do the best we can to care and nurture him.  Our biggest challenge is his mother.  She is strung out on drugs and in and out of jail--she only wants to talk to us when she needs bail.  We have done everything we can to help her but we refuse to continue to enable her.  It is such a painful decision and we struggle daily, she is our only daughter and it is just so difficult!!!

Scared in California

I really could use some support! I'm alone, no close family to help out. I've spent a ton of money I don't have on legal bills and I don't "qualify" for any assistance. Right now, I can't afford to pay for my own health insurance premiums and I am scared what will happen to him if I get sick.

Frustrated in West Virginia

Positive experiences? Nothing, it gets more emotional daily, if the parents were completely out of the situation it may be better.

By Angela

I am 50 years old and was given custody of my grandson when he was released from the hospital at birth. His mother took drugs in an effort to terminate her pregnancy yet he was born at 6 months gestation. He is now 2 years old and is a beautiful, happy go lucky child. I am his mother in every sense of the word and I would fight to the death if someone ever tried to take him from me.

Loving a baby in Minnesota

I love having a baby again. I'm just worried her mother will decide she wants her again and take her away. I would be devastated. I was considering adopting before my granddaughter came into my life. I would love to adopt her.

Overwhelmed in Alabama

I love these children dearly, but have no desire to be their parent. We sometimes feel overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of children this young. Honestly it is just time that has helped us adjust.

Safe in Pennsylvania

Having my granddaughter with me, has been a true blessing. I don't have to worry about her well being. She is safe with me.

Tired in West Virginia

I love these children so much, but sometimes I get so physically and mentally tired that I could sit down and cry.

Worried in Oregon

Our little (beautiful) Granddaughter has lived with us since birth making it a little easier. We worry that some day Mom may decide to be a real Mom after all and take her from us after 4 years raising her since birth.

Sweetest Little Girl in Texas

My grandchild has brain cancer and cerebral palsy, is blind, is G-tube fed, and has seizure disorders. She is also the sweetest girl ever. We've had her since she was 2 weeks old. She is now 20 months old.

Granddad and 2 grandbabies

I couldn't stop crying while reading these stories. I'm a single man raising two beautiful granddaughters, 1 and 3. It really helps to know that others are doing the right thing also.

Losing our Privacy

It is nice to be able to get to know them as people than as occasional visitors. However, I regret losing our privacy, and I did not expect the financial impact. But, I would not change a thing.

Raising a Teenager in Michigan

We love him very much, but life has not been easy for him. We are trying to correct some bad issues in his life.

Support in Nevada

My friend, who has her grandchildren has been a wealth of information, including this site, and our church has been wonderful.

Networking in New York

Knowing that I am not alone and networking with other grandparents helps me.

Blessed in Wisconsin

My life is so blessed. My granddaughter is a joy, she is 3 going on 10. She keeps me young, and laughing all the time. I was given guardianship Nov. 2007 I'm thankful every day that I was given the chance to give my granddaughter a better live.

Raising infant  in Florida

I raise her the best I can and have applied for everything but have been denied. I live in fear that her mom will come by and take her. I do not  know how I would be able to go on.

Great-Aunt in Iowa

This is my great-nephew, and we've been babysitting him for a week at a time over the last year about every 3 weeks or so. Now we have him during EVERY week.

Feeling Isolated in Minnesota

My biggest issue is social isolation. I don' really fit in with the child-free friends of my "past," and I definitely don't fit in with the young families from our church and community.  I have literally lost all my previous social contacts and now simply manage to get away for awhile by myself to see a movie or go out to dinner alone when my husband is home to care for her. I love her dearly but I'm losing myself!

Triplets in Washington

We are raising our triplet grandchildren. We had never kept all three for the night until they came to live with us. They are the greatest joy and the most work I have ever experienced.

Humor in Pennsylvania

 I have found that having a good sense of humor is very important. Life is short. You must lighten up and don't carry a grudge. My downfall is trying to remember that I need a Social life also.

Adjusting in Canada

Having been involved in their lives from an early age, my grandchildren were usually with me anyway. When my son died last June, they had to make very little adjustment when  their Mother left to go to another province.

Permanence in Virginia

The decision for us to adopt my granddaughter helped because it gave us stability and a feeling of permanence in our situation. My granddaughter calls us "Mom" & " Dad" and she feels more secure in knowing we will always be here and no one can come in and upset the life she has. She repeatedly tells us, "I love my life. I love my house."

Staying home in Michigan is worth it.

Being able to stay home with them has helped. I do not think I could have done a very good job if I had to work 40 hours and care for them. Even though we struggle financially it is worth it.

Stay at home mom in Ohio

I gave up my career to be a stay at home mom to take care of our 3 grandchildren. No one other than those in our situation will ever understand the undertaking it is to raise your grandchildren.

Still adjusting in Texas

I have had my 7 year old grandson since he was a baby and this past month got custody of his 2 year old 1/2 sister. I am still trying to adjust to all this, however, reminding myself that the joy of watching them grow has helped a lot.

Not the 70's or 80's in California

Raising (grand)children today is so much different than in the 70s & 80s. Our other children help us some but even they say how difficult it is. Children today have been allowed to get away with murder without consequences. Two of our sons are raising adopted children from spouses previous marriages and are doing good jobs. We all talk a lot about issues. My wife and I need adult input from our age group.

Teenager in Illinois

I have had my grand since he was 10mo and he is now 13 1/2. Every stage was hard but I made it. However, the teenage years are rough. Teenagers are expensive and demand a lot of time. They are extremely moody and self centered. I pray for guidance and strength for the next couple of years

Gamme's Sunshine in Michigan

I am raising my 6 year old grandson. I guess I am a very young grandma, I am 43 and my daughter is 23. She had her son when she was 16 so as you can imagine, she was no where near ready to care for a baby herself. When he was born we found out that he had a Congenital Heart Defect called Total Anomalous Venus Pulmonary Connection. Which means he was born totally without the 2 veins that connect to the heart that bring oxygenated blood to the heart. He is truly a miracle. He had open heart surgery at just 12 days old. He is doing well now, but we are waiting for symptoms to indicate a low heart rate and then he will need to have a pacemaker. My daughter, besides being very young, never had a chance to bond with the baby when he was born so luckily she did the very brave and mature thing and gave custody to me but she lives in the same city as we do and is there all the time to help raise him. My grandson is my whole world. He is my Sunshine and he will tell you if you ask him. He says, "yeah...I'm my gamme's sunshine ". you know us GRANDPARENTS, any chance to brag! ;) Kudos to every grandparent out there! The future does depend on us.

Support in New Zealand

It helps to have the support from other grandparents that are also in the same predicament, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It also helps to know that there is also someone out there that is worse off than I am. And that my Father in Heaven has been there for me also. Also, where are these children to go? I love my grandson very dearly, as I do all my other 9 grandchildren, but it is hard being a grandparent to the others.

Odd Duck in Oregon

I sometimes feel as if I'm "neither fish nor fowl. I'm not the same age as the other mothers in our apartment complex and my priorities are different from women in my age group.

Frustrated in Indiana

"I find it hard dealing with my granddaughters attitude. If something goes wrong, she blames me. I think she takes her frustrations over not being with her mother on me. She becomes defiant, talks back, states that "You don't act like you did before I came to live with you" she thinks her mother is perfect and never finds anything wrong with what her mom does. Her mother has called her a "lying b----" on the phone and hung up on her, but this child denies ever hearing her mom do this. She was removed from her mom's home because her mother is a meth addict and neglected the children. I feel like I am doing everything I can for her and she is giving me no thanks, no respect, I am almost to the point now where I don't care if she lives with her mom or goes back into the foster care system. She refuses to see a counselor. I took her three times and she is angry with me about this and brings it up all the time. I'd like to know what to do. My life has been disrupted for 2 years now. I wouldn't care so much if I felt like I was helping this child, but she just resents me because she can't live with her mom."

Sunshine in Texas

My Grandchild has special needs that her parents refused to see. But, every day she brings sunshine into my life with something new she has learned.

Worrying in New York

We worry we will be too old or ill to keep taking care of him for possibly many years to come. He is only 1.

Tired in California

I am still young but feel much older, I don't have the energy I used to have. I don't want to shortchange my granddaughter.

Concerned in South Carolina

I fear for my granddaughter she has so many scars and I'm not sure I can get her where she needs to go. She talks one way but heads in another and that's the same thing her mother did and here we are years later and her mother is still going in the wrong direction. The boys are great they look forward to very happy lives. They are adjusting very well.

Need Understanding in Arizona

We need to make the government officials understand that we are in need, not only of financial assistance, no matter what our pension or retirement is. I have seen too many retiree's spend all they have on the grandchildren, that they barely have enough for them selves. We need to have the society as a whole not look at us/or our situation in a bad light... too many people have the attitude of "the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree" This mentality is harmful not only to the children but also to the grandparents. They have themselves, their children, and also they have grandchildren to deal with the best they can. We have to be the strong generation!!!

Faith in God in Georgia

I, truly believe that God is right in the midst of us trying to do this awesome task. If it were not for Him, I would not be able to accomplish what we do for our grandchildren. We are raising 13 of our grandchildren, nieces and nephews!

Isolated in Minnesota

I was home with our 5 kids until the youngest started preschool, but I never felt the isolation and loneliness that I do now. Maybe being at home all day doing daycare is a part of it. When our kids were young, I had friends who also had young kids. We could swap childcare or just call on each other for support. I never felt as though I gave up my life for my children. None of my 50+ yr old friends have babies to care for 24/7, and none of them can even closely relate to me. I'm relying on my 25 yr daughter, whose baby is only 5 wks older that the one living with us, as my emotional support but she is 525 miles away! My husband works fulltime and then some (law enforcement), but he relieves me whenever possible, but he doesn't feel the same isolation that I do. I'm trying to rekindle old hobbies I had, and find new interests (ECFE activities) but I struggle with social relationships now that I am back in the diaper and bottle saddle.

Grateful in Florida

Sometimes I feel too old to raise an 11 yr old and 15 yr old. Other times they keep me young. I am so glad I have them in my life and my home.

A Blessing In Oklahoma

I am changing the way I look at the situation. I now realize that this is a blessing instead of thinking it is a burden.

Support in Kentucky

Time has helped. I go to Alanon meetings and a grandparents support organization. Talking to other people and reading about other grandparents has helped.

Transitioning in New Hampshire

Well, technically I have been with them their entire lives--my daughter lived with me...so I know the children VERY well. For the record, I haven't made the mental transition completely yet from grandparenting role to parenting role...but knowing that they needed a stabilizing force in their lives --and that I'm "it" has helped.

Feeling alone in Florida

My husband and closest 4 friends have died in the last five years. I have many work commitments where I must deal with people but no one my age has anything in common with my lifestyle. Aside from a church prayer group, I often feel alone.

One day at a time in Arizona

I have only had my 2 granddaughters for one month. I have a strong faith in God and I try to take one day at a time. (Sometimes one minute at a time!) Humor helps and being older now and raising children, I try to enjoy the "now" with my girls, as I know how fast they grow up. It is more important for me to be with them, than cleaning, etc.

Frustrated in Arkansas

I feel I am reworking a 2 & 4 year old puzzle that wasn't put together right. I am very frustrated with my daughter she is 25 and I expected more of her than this. She wanted to be a teacher. It's unbelievable!

Feeling Trapped in Connecticut

We can not afford a day care facility. Someone watches the boys 4 days a week for minimal money which is nice, but her family environment is not what I want the boys exposed to. I feel very trapped. The boys are so wonderful, I would so like to give them a better situation.

Concern in Nevada

We'd really rather see our granddaughter being raised by her parents but that is not a reality in the near future. Our first concern is her welfare. We are presently involved in court guardianship actions.

Blessed in Florida

When I was 17 I gave a child up for adoption. I did not want this for our grandbaby. I asked God for the answers and did a lot of praying that if it is his will to give me another chance at being a mom, that I would do it. Our grandbaby is 18 months old and is my husband's daughter's son. I am so thankful and blessed

Wishing in Illinois

I have my oldest grandson in private guardianship and my youngest one is in state care. I wish that the governor would equalize the child only grant along with the foster care payment. It would make things a lot easier, especially since they are both special needs.

Dealing in Pennsylvania

Due to a tragic situation my grand daughter is in my custody... I thought I would be unable to deal with day to day activities. However, my grand daughter's presence forces me to deal with life

Friends and Family in Tennessee

I didn't know what we were going to do WITH our little 2 year old, but now at almost age 5, We don't know what we would do WITHOUT her. We received a tremendous amount of support from friends and family and especially our church family

G-Grandmother in Kentucky

My granddaughter is 18. my husband and I raised her. She has a daughter (my great granddaughter). My husband and I divorced recently after 38 years of marriage. My two granddaughters live with me.


 

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Grandparents raising and parenting grandchildren,  managing stress in parenting,  relative and kinship parenting, grandparents as parents, grandparents as foster parents, grandparents adopting grandchildren, parenting special needs children, stress management, the effects of stress, depression in children, ADD, attention deficit in children, RAD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, mental health and children, conduct disorder in children, Medicaid for children, Child Daycare, Grandparent Rights, Grandparents with legal custody, guardianship of grandchildren